Sorry? I should have written earlier? I suck?
Time has gotten away from me… obviously. It’s been too long to actually say since I’ve written. I’m not entirely sure why.. but here I am now.
We are a couple of weeks short of my diagnosis 2 years ago. I could say a lot has changed since then; I live differently, I prioritize differently, I think differently. That last one is a conundrum and poses the greatest challenges to the other two because sometimes what I think is beyond the means of how I can live differently. If I had all the money in the world, we would take the kids and travel the world.. but that’s no realistic. However, those thoughts are definitely challenging me to think creatively in how we could make that happen.
I think living more in the moment has been a big lesson (and challenge). However, often what is encouraging that way of living is because of that little but really big voice in the background telling me that cancer could come back. And it could kill me. So live now, because who knows what time is left.
Really we should all live that way. Cancer is just one disease. We are surrounded by tragedy and loss. Our (my) goal is definitely to live more life and experience other cultures and communities. Somehow we will get there..
Life since my last post has changed. I’ve made major life decisions that have taken me out of my comfort zone and challenged me even though it wasn’t necessarily what I wanted.
Of course the secondary effects of cancer continue to be the bane of my existence. Over the winter I found out I have pulmonary toxicity (lung damage due to radiation). Exercise is now a definite requirement because it helps my breathing. So I keep trekking along, especially with the running as it’s now more important than ever.
I’ve also committed to going through reconstruction and the mastectomy of the left breast (with reconstruction). I’m ready for it, yet I’m not. It’s major surgery, twice. Of course my blood disorder continues to throw wrenches into all health issues and has limited my options. Thankfully I’ve found a good plastic surgeon who was able to guide me in the right direction.
And all the while, life keeps going as it should. Madison is 15 1/2… enough said. Shane is almost 12 and enjoying life. Dan is working for himself and doing great. My circle of support remains strong. I have exceptional people who I am grateful for every day.
I’ll end this with an affirmation (because it can’t hurt!)
I am healthy, I am strong, I am determined, I am loved, and I am unstoppable 💪🏻❤️😊😘