The gift of thoughtfulness, kindness and love

I keep waiting for and expecting to be disappointed in someone or something as I tend to have very high expectations. Instead I am continuously in awe of the thoughtfulness and generosity that I have been presented with and how much people are actually giving of themselves to support me.  Whether it be in the well thought out gifts my friends and neighbors have left for me, or it be friends posting comments or messaging me.  As a busy person with work, kids and life, I am fully aware that thinking of someone who may not be in your day to day world takes effort and consideration. The only way I can think to express what I am really feeling because of all the generosity is ‘full’; my heart is full and hopeful.  So please don’t stop, because this is exactly what I need right now and although I am OK, being in limbo is definitely a challenge.

I still have to wait another week before I find out exactly what type breast cancer I have and the stage, at which point I will also know the treatment plan.  While we wait, I am noticing my children are becoming anxious by being in limbo as well.  Madison has started asking more specific questions, which means she is researching (Dr. Google is not our friend right now).  Shane has been increasingly thoughtful; making me things and even using his own money to buy me a fluffy pillow to go with my blanket of hugs.  All we can do is keep ourselves distracted and continue on… but it’s not easy. Thankfully friends are helping by taking them on impromptu outings or play dates.

Hockey and horse back riding have also begun which is a welcomed distraction.  As for Dan and me, we were lucky enough to go out for dinner with my awesome family of co-workers last night.  The rest of the weekend will be low key.  Really what I should be doing is getting ready; cooking, checking winter clothes, and anything else I may not have the energy for later. Somehow I just can’t get there yet…




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