Yesterday I had an awesome day. I did things I love doing. My day started with a workout with my trainer Carla and I kicked ass! I am strong and healthy, which at this point is a huge relief for me. My arm swelling (due to the axillary lymph node procedure) is decreasing. I now have very little fluid under my mastectomy incision and this comforts me as I know I am healing well and maintaining my strength.
Later in the day I got to sing! I started taking lessons a few years ago, not because I have a good voice (I definitely do not!) but because I love to sing and it is such a great release.
My day ended with dinner at the Keg with a good friend who also battled breast cancer, joined by Tammy later. Let’s just say we shut down the place and left at 2am!!!
It was a great day! But it was also the day that Victoria (one of my twins) died 22 years ago. And this year was different for me. I’m not entirely sure how or if I can explain why, it was just different. I don’t normally mention the anniversary of her death. However yesterday I felt the need to vocalize the day, and so in Ann-Marie fashion, I did, in the middle of a conversation at dinner. I just had to acknowledge her and remember her.
As I write this now I am reminded of my post a while back when I initially spoke of the twins and wrote that I am coming out of the fog. Once again emotions and feelings are coming to the surface and I am reminded I am alive. I am reminded of the love that surrounds me. I am reminded that there is so much more time to live.
I am so incredibly grateful, to my family, to my friends, and to cancer…. I will battle it to the it’s death, and I will come out of it alive in every way, but I am grateful to it as it is giving me my life back…