Hi, I’m back! Thanks to Tammy for effectively communicating my day yesterday. To sum it up, I was one cranky b*tch! OMG!
I was surprised to hear from the surgeon just before putting me under that they would look at the lymph node under the microscope to determine if it was cancer. I had a strong sense that it was so I was not at all surprised to hear him tell me this was the case when I woke up.
So we are back to “not good”. However, the breast has been removed as well as a large section of lymph nodes (they went back in a removed more when they got the positive result). Tuesday I will call the oncologist to see if we can have a conversation on next steps since the cancer in the lymph nodes has changed the situation.
The doctor on duty stopped by early this afternoon to check on my progress to release me. He asked me to open open my shirt to look and asked “bilateral mastectomy?” To which I responded “no, single… I’m just small thanks”. He had a chuckle and completed his 2 second examination then sent me on my merry way.
So I did come home today and my strength has been generally very good. I am falling asleep continuously, like right now, and I did have a bad couple of hours when I got home likely because I overdid it. The kids seem ok as well. I FaceTimed them from the hospital yesterday because they wanted to see for themselves how I was. I looked pretty good for someone who had just come out of surgery 😉!
I am very happy that I am not in the state I was imagining myself in. I know that my children are far less affected by this mostly controlled me than what I was imagining. More than ever this is one day at time.
For now I thank you for all your well wishes and your support. I am off to sleep to recover my strength to move forward with all that is to come.