As the week comes to an end, I am almost breathing a sigh of relief. Almost but not quite because next week is chemo #3 AND Xmas! So this week I have been not only preparing for Christmas since I will be out of commission, but also physically preparing for the destruction of chemo.
Destruction is really an appropriate word since not only are the cancer cells being destroyed but also my body. I become a hundred year old lady who can’t function on any level; my body or my brain. It’s extremely frustrating and difficult to navigate through. Since I despise the complete lack of control I’ve decided that for next weeks chemo I would step it up a notch and will continue to workout with Carla at as high of a level as I can. Not sure if it will help the side effects but I am really hoping it does and I breeze through it.
On to bigger more important things than chemo… Wednesday night proved to be my first experience with a different side effect of cancer. Shane came home complaining of pain going from the right side of his back to the front. Upon hearing this I immediately took his temperature and discovered he had a fever of 101 which quickly went up to 104. After administering Tylenol it came down but by all the symptoms Shane was describing, we decided to take him Emergency. Of course I couldn’t go…. because I can’t be exposed to all the illness that are in emerge. So I had to sit at home … and feel completely useless and incapable of being there for Shane; I could not be the mother I usually am or want to be. This new reality hit me hard… I never imagined that my motherhood would be in question throughout all this. Where I have been many times grateful for how cancer is changing my life, for this I am not grateful at all. But again, there is absolutely nothing I could do about it…
Shane is now on antibiotics and on the mend. After blood tests, ultrasound and X-ray, they are fairly certain he has a urinary tract infection. And of course when it rains it pours and Madison is also sick. She appears to have a cold, again! Somehow keeping everyone healthy while I’m going through chemo is proving to be quite a challenge. With excessive hand washing and lots of oranges and clementines, I have kept the viruses away from me. Let’s hope it continues or let’s just hope everyone stays healthy after this round of illnesses!!!